Do It Today, Not Tomorrow

Procrastination is one of the global problems we face and it is has detrimental effects in our way to success. Darius Foroux puts it well on how to combat it in his book ( Do It Today ).

Every time I put off a decision, hit the snooze button, skipped the gym, or didn’t complete my tasks because I didn’t feel like it, I always had an explanation for my continual procrastination. I told myself I was tired. Or that it could wait until tomorrow. Who cares if you put off something, right? Well, you should care. Because you’re the one who’s responsible for your life. Too often, we look at productivity tips, apps or tools as the magic answer to our problems. But that also means we allow ourselves to blame external things for our lack of productivity.

“No, it’s not me, it’s my old laptop. It sucks, and I can’t work this way.”
“The office is too loud.” “People keep calling and emailing me.” “I never have time.”

Battling procrastination is an inner battle.

Compounding our time effectively

What you do today determines where you will be in a year, two years, and even ten years from now. Every single day, we keep on doing things that we don’t desire. I’m not talking about paying the bills or cleaning your toilet. I’m talking about how you invest the majority of your time. The time that sums up your life. When I was 13 or 14 years old, I watched the movie Fight Club for the first time together with one of my friends. One line has been engraved on mind ever since that moment: “You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank.” I’m glad I watched that movie back then. I’ve watched the movie more than a dozen times, and I’ve read the book more than once. That single thought inspired me to become independent. I’m not my job. And I’m certainly not my bank account.” But who are we, if we are not those things? For the past 17 or 18 years, I’ve been meditating on that question. As of now, I believe that we are our actions. And our actions reveal our character. That’s who we are. The funny thing is that we are our job. After all, we spend the majority of our time earning a living. We trade time for money. Whether you like it or not, you have to spend a part of your life doing that. Most people end up trading time for money during their entire life. But a few of us spend their time in a way now, that they have a better life tomorrow.

How To Appear Like SOMEBODY (Part 2)

In the previous blog I posted three tactics on how to appear like somebody from the book (How To Talk To Anyone) by Leil Lowes. In this one am going to add three other tactics and ways of making it big in terms of appearance and talking to anyone.

Hang by your teeth

Visualize a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Take a bite and, with it firmly between your teeth, let it swoop you to the peak of the big top. When you Hang by Your Teeth, every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position. You are now ready to float into the room to captivate the crowd or close the sale (or maybe just settle for looking like the most important Somebody in the room).

The big-baby pivot

Give everyone you meet the Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 per cent toward New Person shouts ‘I think you are very, very special.’ Remember, deep inside everyone is a big baby rattling the crib, wailing out for recognition of how very special he or she is.

Hello old friend

When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend! The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain reaction in your body from the subconscious softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes – and everything between.

How To Appear Like SOMEBODY (Part 1)

One of the secrets of success is how you interact with people and this is reflected by your appearance and exposure. Leil Lowndes lays it down perfectly giving tricks in his book (How To Talk To Anyone ). I have divided them into two parts and the second part will be out this coming Monday.

1. The flooding smile

Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.

2. Sticky eyes

Pretend your eyes are glued to your Conversation Partner’s with sticky warm toffee. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey toffee until the tiny string finally breaks.

What about men’s eyes?
Now gentlemen: when talking to men,you, too, can use Sticky Eyes. Just make them a little less sticky when discussing personal matters with other men, lest your listener feel threatened or misinterpret your intentions. But do increase your eye contact slightly more than normal with men on day-to-day communications – and a lot more when talking to women. It broadcasts a visceral message of comprehension and respect.

To most people in our culture, profound eye contact signals trust, knowledge, an ‘I’m here for you’ attitude.

3. Epoxy Eyes

This brazen technique packs a powerful punch. Watch your target person even when someone else is talking. No matter who is speaking, keep looking at the man or woman you want to impact. Sometimes using full Epoxy Eyes is too potent, so here is a gentler, yet effective, form: Watch the speaker but let your glance bounce to your target each time the speaker finishes a point. This way Mr or Ms Target still feels you are intrigued by his or her reactions, yet there is relief from the intensity.

‘Eating The Frog’

This concept of eating the frog might sound familiar but it’s meaning is way above what seems on the surface. Brian Tracy gives a detailed meaning and all that we need to know about eating the frog with lessons from his own experiences that we can apply to improve and grow ourselves. The book is (Eat That Frog )

It has been said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long. Your “frog” is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it. It is also the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment.

The first rule of frog eating is this: If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first.

This is another way of saying that if you have two important tasks before you, start with the biggest, hardest, and most important task first. Discipline yourself to begin immediately and then to persist until the task is complete before you go on to something else. Think of this as a test. Treat it like a personal challenge. Resist the temptation to start with the easier task. Continually remind yourself that one of the most important decisions you make each day is what you will do immediately and what you will do later, if you do it at all.

The second rule of frog eating is this: If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn’t pay to sit and look at it for very long.

The key to reaching high levels of performance and productivity is to develop the lifelong habit of tackling your major task first thing each morning. You must develop the routine of “eating your frog” before you do anything else and without taking too much time to think about it.

What Is Courage?

Courage is not just about one thing that is physical ,it can mean many things like answering your true call in life in order to live a happier and more fulfilled life. Ryan Holiday talks in detail about courage in his book (Courage Is Calling )

It’s long been held that there are two kinds of courage, physical and moral. Physical courage is a knight riding into battle. It’s a firefighter rushing into a burning building. It’s an explorer setting out for the arctic, defying the elements. Moral courage is a whistleblower taking on powerful interests. It’s the truth teller who says what no one else will say. It’s the entrepreneur going into business for themselves, against all odds. The martial courage of the soldier and the mental courage of the scientist. But it doesn’t take a philosopher to see that these are actually the same thing. There aren’t two kinds of courage. There is only one. The kind where you put your ass on the line. In some cases literally, perhaps fatally. In other cases it’s figurative, or financial. Courage is risk. It is sacrifice, commitment, perseverance, truth determination. When you do the thing others cannot or will not do. When you do the thing that people think you shouldn’t or can’t do. Otherwise it’s not courage.

You have to be braving something or someone. Still, courage remains something hard to define. We know it when we see it, but it’s hard to say it.

Why Courage is Prized Yet It is available everywhere and anytime.

There is nothing we prize more than courage, yet nothing is in shorter supply. Is that just how it goes? That things are prized because they are rare? Possibly. But courage—the first of the four cardinal virtues—is not a precious stone. It is not a diamond, a product of some billion-year, timeless process. It’s not oil, which must be drawn from the earth. These are not finite resources, doled out randomly by fortune or accessible only to some.

No. It is something much simpler. It is renewable. It’s there in each of us, everywhere. It’s something that we are capable of in a moment’s notice. In matters big and small. Physical. Moral. There are unlimited, even daily opportunities for it, in work, at home, everywhere. And yet it remains so rare. Why? Because we are afraid. Because it’s easier not to get involved. Because we have something else we’re working on and now is not a good time. “I’m not a soldier,” we say, as if fighting on the battlefield is the only form of courage the world needs. We’d rather stick with what’s safe. Me? Heroic? That seems egotistical, preposterous. We leave it to someone else, someone more qualified, better trained, with less to lose. It’s understandable, even logical. But if everyone thinks that way, where does it leave us?

‘Money Vs Relationships’

In the book (Principles) by Ray Dalio, Ray distinguishes the difference between money and relationships. He talks about his real goals at the time he started his business and how he valued money less than other real goals like building good ,healthy relationships. He says that money is secondary and that we should focus more on that which really matters most.

Here is how he puts it. “While making money was good, having meaningful work and meaningful relationships was far better. To me, meaningful work is being on a mission I become engrossed in, and meaningful relationships are those I have with people I care deeply about and who care deeply about me. Think about it: It’s senseless to have making money as your goal as money has no intrinsic value—its value comes from what it can buy, and it can’t buy everything. It’s smarter to start with what you really want, which are your real goals, and then work back to what you need to attain them. Money will be one of the things you need, but it’s not the only one and certainly not the most important one once you get past having the amount you need to get what you really want.

When thinking about the things you really want, it pays to think of their relative values so you weigh them properly. In my case, I wanted meaningful work and meaningful relationships equally, and I valued money less—as long as I had enough to take care of my basic needs. In thinking about the relative importance of great relationships and money, it was clear that relationships were more important because there is no amount of money I would take in exchange for a meaningful relationship, because there is nothing I could buy with that money that would be more valuable. So, for me, meaningful work and meaningful relationships were and still are my primary goals and everything I did was for them. Making money was an incidental consequence of that.”

Where does Fear Come From? Where Does It Go ?

This great book , (Fear) by Osho is all about fear. How the deeply seated fear in us affects us both internally and externally. He describes in depth how this fear can be alleviated for us to live a more elevated, rich life.

All your fears are a by-product of identification.
You love a person and with the love, in the same parcel, comes fear—the person may leave you. They have already left somebody else and come with you, so there is a precedent; perhaps they will do the same to you. There is fear, you feel knots in the stomach. You are so attached, you cannot grasp a simple fact: You have come alone into the world. You have been here yesterday too, without this person, and you were doing perfectly well, without any knots in the stomach. Tomorrow, if this person goes … what is the need of the knots? You already know how to be without the person, and you will be able to be alone again. The fear that things may change tomorrow … somebody may die, you may go bankrupt, your job may be taken away, there are a thousand and one things that might change. You’re burdened with fears and fears, and none of them are valid—because yesterday also you were full of all these fears, unnecessarily. Things may have changed, but you are still alive. And people have an immense capacity to adjust themselves to any situation.

They say that only human beings and cockroaches have this immense capacity for adjustment. That’s why wherever you find humans you will find cockroaches, and wherever you find cockroaches you will find human beings. They go together, they have a similarity. Even in faraway places like the North Pole or the South Pole—when people first traveled to those places they suddenly found they had brought cockroaches with them, and those roaches were perfectly healthy and living and reproducing. If you just look around the earth you can see—man lives in thousands of different climates, geographical situations, political situations, sociological situations, religious situations, but he manages to live. And he has lived for centuries … things go on changing, he goes on adjusting himself. There is nothing to fear. Even if the world ends, so what? You will be ending with it! Do you think you will be standing on an island and the whole world will end, leaving you alone? Don’t be worried. At least you will have a few cockroaches with you! What is the problem if the world ends? I have been asked about it many times, but what is the problem? If it ends, it ends. It does not create any problem because we will not be here; we will be ending with it, and there will be no one to worry about. It will be really the ultimate freedom from fear. The world ending means every problem ending, every disturbance ending, every knot in your stomach ending. I don’t see the problem.

But I know that everybody is full of fear. Everybody has a kind of armor, and there are reasons for it. First, the child is born so utterly helpless, into a world he knows nothing of. Naturally he is afraid of the unknown that faces him. He has not yet forgotten those nine months of absolute security, safety, when there was no problem, no responsibility, no worry for tomorrow. To us, those are nine months, but to the child it is eternity. He knows nothing of the calendar, he knows nothing of minutes, hours, days, months. He has lived an eternity in absolute safety and security, without any responsibility, and then suddenly he is thrown into a world unknown, where he is dependent for everything on others. It is natural that he will feel afraid. Everybody is bigger and more powerful, and he cannot live without the help of others. He knows he is dependent; he has lost his independence, his freedom.
A child is weak, vulnerable, insecure. Automatically he starts creating an armor, a protection for himself in different ways.

Playing The Price Game

Simon Sinek is a master when it comes to driving a point home. He uses examples from all that encompass the world we live in. (Start With Why ) is a book that I hope for everyone to get.

Many companies are reluctant to play the price game, but they do so because they know it is effective. So effective, in fact, that the temptation can sometimes be overwhelming. There are few professional services firms that, when faced with an opportunity to land a big piece of business, haven’t just dropped their price to make the deal happen. No matter how they rationalized it to themselves or their clients, price is a highly effective manipulation. Drop your prices low enough and people will buy from you. We see it at the end of a retail season when products are “priced to move.” Drop the price low enough and the shelves will very quickly clear to make room for the next season’s products.

Wal-Mart seems to be an exception to the rule. They have built a phenomenally successful business playing the price game. But it also came at a high cost. Scale helped Wal-Mart avoid the inherent weaknesses of a price strategy, but the company’s obsession with price above all else has left it scandal-ridden and hurt its reputation. And every one of the company’s scandals was born from its attempts to keep costs down so it could afford to offer such low prices. Price always costs something. The question is, how much are you willing to pay for the money you make?

Searching for the Perfect Man or Woman

You’ll never find perfect man or woman ,that’s what Osho says in his book( Being In Love )

People think they will love only when they find a perfect man or a perfect woman. Nonsense! You will never find them, because perfect women and perfect men don’t exist. And if they exist, they won’t bother about your love. They will not be interested.

And remember, when two beings are perfect, their love need is not the same as your love need. It has a totally different quality. You don’t understand even the love that is possible for you, so you will not be able to understand the love that happens to a Buddha, or the love that is flowing from a Lao Tzu toward you—you will not be able to understand it. First you have to understand the love that is a natural phenomenon. Even that has not happened. First you have to understand the natural, and then the transcendental. So the second thing to remember is, never be in search of a perfect man or a perfect woman. That idea too has been put into your mind—that unless you find a perfect man or a perfect woman you will not be happy. So you go on looking for the perfect, and you don’t find it, so you are unhappy.

‘Mastery’

1. The Art of Mastery

How do we get to master things? How does our brain develop and adapt to the events following learning something new? Well Nick Velasquez has his view on that in his incredible book, ( Learn , Improve, Master ).

He says , ” We tend to think of mastery as something magical or the consequence of raw “talent,” but it comes from effort and dedication over many years—in most cases, a lifetime.

We usually see a master’s polished performance or the refined final product of their efforts, but not the process behind it, and so we believe that what they do is beyond our capabilities. We think we don’t have the talent or special abilities to do what they do. It’s like watching a magic illusion. A magician vanishes a card and makes it reappear in an impossible location. As spectators, we see the end result and are amazed by it. But we do not get a glimpse at the mechanics that made it possible. If we could peek behind the illusion, we would find a process anyone can replicate through the study and practice of sleight of hand. The same is true when watching a great quarterback playing a championship game, a virtuoso cellist giving a concert, or an inspiring speaker commanding the stage. We look at their performance, not how they developed their skills through a process that we could follow too.

Nick gives an example by telling a short story about Michelangelo Buonarroti and his ( piesta).

“A young mother holds the body of her dead child across her lap. She looks down at him in a moment of overwhelming love and sorrow, her grief forever captured in stone by one of the greatest artists that’s ever lived, Michelangelo Buonarroti. The details of this sculptural masterpiece, the Pietà, make us forget we are looking at marble. What we see instead are figures of flesh and drapery so vivid they keep our gaze fixed, awaiting their movement. It is one of the most beautiful works of art ever created.
In response to people’s admiration of his Pietà, Michelangelo is supposed to have said, “If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” What seemed like the product of pure genius was the result of years of labor and many more learning his craft.”

2. How our brain specialises and strenghtgens as we learn new things.

When we practice, our brain changes to specialize, and the more we practice, the more pronounced the effect.

How is this specialization built and strengthened?
Imagine you are on a hike, and you come across a field of high grass. There’s no path ahead, so you have to make your way through this grass to cross to the other side. The next day, you go on the same hike and face the field again, but this time you see a trail of tamped-down grass made by the steps you took the day before. You follow the same route, and in doing so, you make it more accessible to walk next time. If you keep doing this for several days, that rough trail will turn into a smooth path. Neural pathways work in a similar way. First, we create a primary neural connection for a behavior or thought process, the rough trail going from one neuron or group of neurons to another. But as we keep using the connections, they become faster and stronger, allowing information to move more efficiently from one side to the other. Without getting too technical, this efficiency builds as a substance called myelin surrounds the neural connections we repeatedly use—a process called myelination. Myelin works as an insulator that supports stronger and faster signal exchange between neurons. The amount of myelin surrounding neural connections depends on the frequency of use. The more we use them, the more layers of myelin they get.

Myelination is the internal process for getting better at anything: through practice, we build layer upon layer of myelin on the neural pathways related to our skill, making them robust and specialized, the neural equivalent of turning a rough trail into a path. And if we continue our practice over the years, that path evolves into a speedway.